Current mood: Scared, guilty, happy, sad, slightly hysterical….
Number of times I’ve cried: 2
Number of websites scoured for fab ‘going back to work clothes’: All of them!
Not another mum blog I hear you say! Well yes it is but my head and heart are so full of conflicting feelings about returning to work that I’m writing this to help me make sense of it all and hopefully connect with other parents who are going through or have gone through the same thing.
I’m Kat, a thirty something first time mum to a beautiful little girl, Willow. In just under two weeks I’m going back to work after ten mostly wonderful months of caring for her.
There have been good days and bad days as I expect most parents have experienced. She’s still yet to sleep through the night and how bloody hard can breast feeding be? It’s messy, everything I own is covered in breast milk, it’s tiring and breast feeding in public? Either your baby unlatches and milk hits the people sitting at the table next to you or you have to deal with passers by rubber necking at your engorged boobs – not sexy. On the positive side it has been an incredible way to bond with my baby and know that I’m giving her the best start I possibly can. And it’s absolutely necessary to eat cake. You need 500 extra calories a day when feeding you know! Anyway I digress….
I’ve spent every day with my baby girl since the day she was born. She’s my gorgeous little shadow. Confession: I sometimes dress us in matching clothes #cringymum #sorrynotsorry.
I’ve had the pleasure of watching her grow and develop into a happy, playful, cheeky little girl and now we’re both going to have to get used to spending time apart. I love being a mum and devoting my time to her and I’m going to miss her so much but….. at the same time I love my job and I’m really quite looking forward to returning to work, using my brain again, having adult conversations and drinking a hot brew! I know I’m not the first and won’t be the last to feel like this so would love to hear how any of you dealt with this conflict.
Here is a list of my current worries (in no particular order):
*Will she miss me or be having too much fun with daddy to notice?
*Will she bloody well say dada first if I’m not there?
*What about her midday booby feed? Will she take a bottle?
*What will I wear? I don’t buy clothes for me anymore, I always head straight to the baby section of a store.
*How will I tame my unchecked mum hair into something semi professional looking?
*Will my boobs leak?
*How will I get us both up, dressed, eye brows painted on, breakfasted and at nursery/work by 9am? (It’s currently a minor miracle if we are anywhere before 10am)
*Can I remember how to do my job?
*Will I fall asleep in a meeting after being up in the night for feeds?
*Can we afford for me to go back part time?
These are all totally normal concerns right?
Through this blog I’m hoping to document overcoming these worries and juggling motherhood and work like so many millions of other super women out there. Please let me know about your experiences and any hints or tips to make it easier!
I still have two weeks to enjoy with my baby girl and I intend to make the most of them. We’ve got a few days out planned and maybe an overnight stay in a camping pod – exciting!
Speak to you soon!